Life as a 40yo me in 2020

So yea, if you were reading my last blog you'd of noticed I was about to turn the 'big 4-0'..... well it happened, I'm still alive (though sometimes I doubt that fact)..

How am I finding it?... Well to be honest, a bit pants, a bit of a struggle, not only are we in lock-down (AGAIN- C'MON BOJO!!!), but thing are a little bit crappy with the old head, sure you could pass it off as lock-down depression, but when I'v got a long standing issues with SAD, I know when its arrived, and it's here, 1 word for you to describe my current mood/situation:

HIBERNATION!!!!

Yea, pretty much spending most days in bed, from around 7-8pm in the evening, through til bout 2-3pm the following day, I'm barely seeing daylight, which as we all know is supposed to be good for ya right?... I'v chatted to a friend about it, who is also a 'sufferer' and he has ways of dealing with it, but I doubt it would work for me, due to the amount of time I'm in bed...

Anyway, not wanting to be a downer, so I wont, I'v also started a 'new' lifestyle thingymajig (yes it's a word!)... I'll be discussing that in a blog to follow in a few days or sometime soon (whichever is more likely with my head being like this!) as I'v also do a vlog to go with it.... not gonna go into details here....

So, what else other than that? well nothing really, other than possibly a yearning for my own space again, don't get me wrong I love living here with mum, we deal with each others issues nicely, BUT, there are times I feel I burden her with my issues, my depression (spec with the times I'm sleeping atm, I know she cant be impressed by that!) but also with a few other issues I cant really go into for private reasons.

Either way, tonight, I actually looked into getting my own flat (council rented- I'm not made of money y'know!).. I havn't told mum yet, I'v gotta email a person 1st, to see if it possible (again, cant go into details as to who)

If things go well, and I get the go ahead, I'll explain to mum whats going on, and start the application form, I'v already found a little 1 bed apartment, fairly close to mum (bout a mile or so away), but whether this would still be available when I'm applying I'm not sure, but its nice to know that there are some sorts of flats/apartments to my requirements out there!!!.... I'll have no internet of course, living life the basic way, but it'll mean no annoying people with my irregular sleeping patterns, and being able to do my life, my way!

Well that's bout it I guess for this update, a few things going around my head that need things seeing too, some could be for the better, others r part of an interesting journey of mine